Setting boundaries with people can be very hard but it is one of the keys to having a fulfilled life. We often are apt to help our loved ones but at times they need to learn from the experience. I am not advocating not helping each other but there are some scenarios where we need to let someone learn from their issue/problem. When we allow people to make their problem our problem, we are not helping them but we are just enabling them.

Once we take their problem for them, all we’re doing is taking away their ability to solve it.

Bennet Ifeakandu Omalu is a Nigerian physician, forensic pathologist and neuropathologist who was the first to discover and publish findings on chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) in American football players while working at the Allegheny County coroner’s office in Pittsburgh. Dr.…

One of the skill set I am looking to get better at is writing and this blog is an experiment in getting better. James Patterson is one of the most prolific writers in the world with over 300 million books sold worldwide and he was the first person to sell 1 million e-books. To be the best you need to learn from the best, hence have been watching a lot of Masterclass Sessions, especially the writers and business executives.

James Patterson was born in 1947 and raised in Newburgh, New York. He studied English at Vanderbilt University, and found work as a junior copywriter at the advertising agency, J Walter Thompson Co, where he devised the iconic slogan, “I’m a Toys ‘R’ Us Kid.” While he became CEO and chairman of the company’s North American division in ’88 and ’90, James also pursued a career in novel writing.

He found critical success with his ’76 book, The Thomas Berryman Number, but it wasn’t until ’93 when he released Along Came a Spider that James met explosive commercial success. Today, he is the world’s best selling author and holds the distinction of writing more #1 New York Times Best Sellers than any other writer in history. James has sold more than 300 million books worldwide and is characterized by unadorned prose, thrilling fast-paced plots, and bite-sized chapters. 

Do NOT sit there like ‘Oh I don’t feel like it today. I don’t feel like it tomorrow’. Feel like it! Do it! Force yourself.—James Patterson

Here are my favourite Takeaways from watching James Patterson’s Masterclass Session on Writing:

I would be experimenting with going 21 days without complaining, the challenge is inspired by Will Bowen, a Kansas City minister who wrote the book: A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted. I have ordered the complaint-free bracelet and I know it is not going to be easy, as I have become more conscious of my complaining tendency after reading the book.

It is going to be a roller coaster ride and am taking some measures to make the challenge easier such as making a list of the people I complain to the most, start noting things I complain most about, triggers for complaining, limit time on social media, avoid chronic complainers, find a complaint-free buddy et al.

It is not complaining to speak directly and only to the person who can resolve an issue

The Complaint Free Challenge

Putting a purple silicone bracelet on your wrist and then switching it from wrist to wrist every time you complained, until you completed twenty-one consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. In so doing, you would have formed a new habit. By becoming conscious of and changing their words, they have changed your thoughts and begun to create your live by design.

Presenter: Sara Blakely, Founder of Spanx.
Title: Sarah Blakely teaches Self-Made Entrepreneurship
Favourite Insights:

  • Self Taught, Still Owns 100% of Company,
  • Started her business with $5,000
  • Cross-trained as a Stand-Up Comedy act to gain confidence,
  • She hustles and advocates staying scrappy.
  • Grew organically as the Spanx brand did not advertise for the first 16 years.
  • In 2012, according to Forbes Magazine, she became the youngest self-made female billionaire at age 41

Sara Blakely had no fashion, retail, or business leadership experience when she invented Spanx in the late 1990s. All she had was $5,000 and an idea. Back then, while hawking fax machines door-to-door in the Florida heat, 27-yearold

Sara had to wear pantyhose (a dress code enforced by the company she worked for, Danka). While Sara liked the control-top element of the hose, she didn’t like the seam that showed through her open-toed shoes. She decided there must be a way to have one without the other.

Never make excuses. Your friends don’t need them and your foes won’t believe them. ―John Wooden

We all fall into the trap at one point or the other blaming, complaining, and making excuses. Most times we are not even aware we are doing it, we say we are venting, sharing our frustrations, “a problem shared is a problem halved“. Most of the times, the people we are complaining to can not really do anything about our problems but we still share it with them, guess at times it feels good but most times after sharing the problem with them, it either gets worst with their ill given advice or you still don’t have the solution.

Most of the time, we do complain about the things we can change such as a toxic work environment, a bad relationship, money problems, to people who can not really do anything about it. We hardly complain about for example gravity because we have accepted it: whatever goes up must come down. Life happens to all of us but the only way to change any situation is to DO something about it: Fix It, Solve it. Where Energy goes attention goes, what you focus on expands.

Never tell your problems to anyone…20don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them. – Lou Holtz Jr.

Author Will Bowen. in his book, A Complaint Free World, shares the following story:

There is an old story of two construction workers sitting down to eat lunch together. The first worker opens his lunch box and complains, “Yech! A meatloaf sandwich.… I hate meatloaf sandwiches.” His friend says nothing. The following day, the two meet up again for lunch. Again the first man opens his lunch box, looks inside, and, this time more agitated, says, “Another meatloaf sandwich?