I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening. – Larry King
I am not the best of listener, it is a weakness am taking conscious effort in trying to remedy. It is a constant battle for me to stay silent when someone is speaking. It is a life long journey, just like any habit. You can Learn and Unlearn any thing you put your mind into.
I am committing to Listening for a change. Here are some thoughts and insights on Listening that could help:
In the Contranian’s Guide to Leadership, Steven B. Sample wrote :The average person suffers from three delusions:
- That he is a good driver
- That he has a good sense of humor
- That he is a good listener
The biggest mistake you can make in trying to talk convincingly is to put your highest priority on expressing your ideas and feelings. What most people really want is to be listened to, respected, and understood. The moment people see that they are being understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of view. – David D. Burns (Psychiatrist and Author)
John Maxwell in his Book, the leaders greatest return, shares a joke about listening:
We hear half of what what is being said, listen to half of what we hear, understand half of that, believe half of that, and remember only half of that. If you translate those assumptions into an eight hour workday, here is what what would mean:
- You spend about four hours listening
- You hear about two hour of what is said
- You actually listen to an hour of that
- You understand only thirty minutes of that
- You believe only fifteen minutes of that
- And you remember only seven and a half minutes of it.