As the saying goes, “You cannot give what you do not have”, if you don’t take care of yourself, you ultimately cannot take care of anyone else. When you fly on an airplane, the flight attendant instructs the passengers to “Put on your oxygen mask before trying to help others,” even your child. The instruction is a great analogy for life and a strategy for navigating relationships with family and friends. Some of us are pathologically altruistic, dealing with a messiah complex, empathetic to a fault, and always giving to others without considering ourselves. This issue can be caused as a result of many reasons, such as family upbrings, societal and religious indoctrination, and birth order, among others.

Taking care of yourself and putting yourself first can somewhat be viewed as selfish but if you empty your tank by caretaking everyone else and not caring for yourself, it usually does not end well. You need to, at some point set healthy boundaries for yourself and others, be self-compassionate and kind in the process. Here are some strategies for caring for yourself.