The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it. – LOU HOLTZ
Taking full responsibility for your life, your actions, your failures, your successes, is one of the major keys to success. It involves quitting the blame game, quit blaming the government, your spouse, your parents, your frenemies, your enemies, internet trolls et al. Whatever would go wrong usually would go wrong (Murphy’s Law) but when things go wrong like they often do, do not go wrong with it or blame anyone. It is easy to stay positive when things are going right, the challenge is how you would react when things don’t go the way you want it to happen.
The Blame Game precedes you and I as it was said to have started in the Garden of Eden, Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the snake but the snake did not have a leg to stand on.
The concept of sin in most religions enables blaming as the doctrine goes: Whenever you do something wrong, you would be punished, commit a sin and the consequence is punishment. Hence this leads to people blaming others for their actions in other to avoid punishment. The number one culprit we blame for our irresponsible action is satan(devil), you hear the familiar word: ” It is the work of Devil “.
Until you accept responsibility for your life, someone else runs your life – orin Woodward
Taking full responsibility is not an easy task especially when you have not been brought up/groomed like that. We are in a world where we are constantly comparing ourselves to each other, in a social media age where it is always green at the other side, The day that changes your life is when you take 100% (Full) responsibility for your life.
There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. – J.K.Rowling
To help you navigate the 100% responsibility journey, here are some great insights from top minds:
In the Seasons of Life, Jim Rohn share the following insight:
A man visits the shop of a gardener and, without thinking or even inquiring, selects what appears to be an attractive plant which he purchases, takes home, and plants in the ground in his yard. Months later he discovers that the plant has grown, matured, and now blossoms into a healthy bougainvillea, to which he is allergic. To wish now that the plant were a rose, or a tulip, would be foolish. The circumstances will not change because he dislikes the result… he alone is the cause of his watery eyes and running nose.
And so it is with the person who lives amid mediocrity—whether the seeds which brought about that condition were placed into the soil of life by him or by someone else is unimportant. To accuse others, to feel sorry for ourselves, or to continue rationalizing or making excuses is foolish. Only a massive, voluntary, and effective assault on changing causes is important. Direct your thought, conversation, and full attention to that if you wish to change circumstances; concentrate a good share of your idle hours upon self-development by planning more, reading more, and investing more.
To accuse others, to feel sorry for ourselves, or to continue rationalizing or making excuses is foolish. Only a massive, voluntary, and effective assault on changing causes is important.
Invest your time in worthy projects; invest your thoughts toward a worthy purpose; invest your talents toward a worthy occupation; invest your affection toward a worthy recipient; and finally, reserve your greatest respect for yourself, for it is that image… what you perceive yourself to be… that determines the quality of life.
I’VE HEARD THERE’S GOING TO BE A RECESSION; I’VE DECIDED NOT TO PARTICIPATE – Walt Disney
All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. – WAYNE DYER
In the Success Principles, Jack Canfield shares a story that personifies taking personal responsibility:
There is a wonderful story told about a man who is out walking one night and comes upon another man down on his knees looking for something under a street lamp. The passerby inquires as to what the other man is looking for. He answers that he is looking for his lost key. The passerby offers to help and gets down on his knees and helps him search for the key. After an hour of fruitless searching, he says, “We’ve looked everywhere for it and we haven’t found it. Are you sure that you lost it here?”
The other man replies, “No, I lost it in my house, but there is more light out here under the street lamp.”
People only complain about things they can do something about. We don’t complain about the things we have no power over. Have you ever heard anyone complain about gravity? No, never.
It is time to stop looking outside yourself for the answers to why you haven’t created the life and results you want, for it is you who creates the quality of the life you lead and the results you produce.
Taking 100% responsibility means you acknowledge that you create everything that happens to you. It means you understand that you are the cause of all of your experiences.
If you want to be really successful, and I know you do, then you will have to give up blaming and complaining and take total responsibility for your life—that means all your results, both your successes and your failures. That is the prerequisite for creating a life of success. It is only by acknowledging that you have created everything up until now that you can take charge of creating the future you want.
E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome)
If you don’t like the outcomes you are currently getting, there are two basic choices you can make.
1. You can blame the event (E) for your lack of results (O)
2. You can instead simply change your responses (R) to the events (E)—the way things are—until you get the outcomes (O) you want
Nobody complains about gravity. And the reason is because gravity just exists. There is nothing anyone can do about gravity, so we just accept it. We know that complaining will not change it, so we don’t complain about it
The circumstances you complain about are all situations you can change—but you have chosen not to. You can get a better job, find a more loving partner, make more money, move to where the jobs are, live in a nicer house, and eat healthier food. But all of these things would require you to change.
Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.- Sigmund Freud
In his book, A Complaint Free World., Will Bowen shares a great story about taking full responsibility:
There is an old story of two construction workers sitting down to eat lunch together. The first worker opens his lunch box and complains, “Yech! A meat loaf sandwich.… I hate meat loaf sandwiches.” His friend says nothing. The following day, the two meet up again for lunch. Again the first man opens his lunch box, looks inside, and, this time more agitated, says, “Another meat loaf sandwich? I hate meat loaf sandwiches!”
As before, his colleague remains silent. The third day, the two men gather for lunch, and the first construction worker opens his lunch box and stomps about and shouts, “I’ve had it! Day in and day out, it’s the same thing! Meat loaf sandwiches every blessed day! I want something else!”
His friend asks, “Why don’t you just ask your wife to make you something else?” “With true bewilderment on his face, the first worker replies, “I make my own lunch.”
The above story is a great story on how we are all responsible for our lives. We make our own lunch, we create our happiness with our thought process, our words, our perspective and what you give is what what you get, gabage in, gabaage out.
In No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline, Author Brain Tracy, talks about our attitude towards taking responsibility:
People don’t want to accept responsibility.
- People spill hot coffee on themselves and sue the fast-food restaurant that sold them the coffee in the first place.
- People get drunk and drive off the road and then turn around and sue the manufacturer of the fifteen-year-old car they were driving.
- People climb up on a stepladder and lean over too far, falling to the ground. They then sue the ladder manufacturer for their injury.
- In each case, people are attempting to escape responsibility for their own behaviors by blaming someone else, making excuses, and then demanding compensation.
You take charge of your emotions by accepting 100 percent responsibility for yourself and for your responses to everything that happens to you. You refuse to make excuses, complain, criticize, or blame other people for anything. Instead, you say, “I am responsible,” and then take action of some kind.
You need to take full responsibility for your life, it involves as Jim Rohn advised working on yourself and making the necessary changes, it also involves taking 100% responsibility for everything that happens in your life as Jack Canfield encouraged and making your lunch as Bill Bowen advised.
All the best in your quest to get better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.