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Complaining is like bad breath. We notice it when it comes out of someone else’s mouth, but not when it comes out of our own. – Will Bowen

Complaining involves expressing dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault. American poet Maya Angelou remarked: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Most of the things we complain about are things we can change; perhaps complaining signals that we need to change something. We complain about things that we can influence, such as our spouse, friends, problems, but we hardly complain about things we cannot change such as gravity, rain, the seasons, etc.


When most people are unhappy with their boss, they complain to their spouse. When they are displeased with their spouse, they complain to their friends. They speak to anyone and everyone except the person who can actually improve the situation, and they live in disappointment and bewilderment, wondering why their relationships don’t improve. – Will Bowen, A Complain Free World

Complaining is not always bad as we might want to hear the view of someone else; it could be cathartic and even therapeutic. As former United States president Theodore Roosevelt once commented, “Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining.” We usually complain to the wrong people, we complain about our boss to our spouse, complain about our spouse to our co-workers, complain about our siblings to our friends.

Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining.” – Theodore Roosevelt

John C. Maxwell was asked a question that changed the course of his life by Curt Kampmeier, he asked: “Do you have a plan for your personal growth?”. In The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, author and speaker John C. Maxwell shares 15 strategies and insights for developing a personal growth plan.

“To reach your potential you must grow. And to grow, you must be highly intentional about it”

Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self; withdrawal motivations; and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. Shame is a deeply troubling emotion that lead people to lie, manipulate, project, and even shame kill.

Healthy shame is the psychological foundation of humility. It is the source of spirituality.” – John Bradshaw

Top Quotes on Shame

  • Shame is the emotion which gives us permission to be human. Shame tells us of our limits. Shame keeps us in our human boundaries, letting us know we can and will make mistakes, and that we need help. – John Bradshaw, Healing the shame that bind you
  • Guilt, of course, is feeling bad about one’s actions, but shame is feeling bad about oneself. – Greg Boyle

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.” – Carl Jung

  • Humans have long used shaming as a weapon to preserve social order and cohesion; indeed our brains are hardwired to register shame. – Shaili Jain
  • Those events that once made me feel ashamed and disgraced now allow me to share with others how to become a useful member of the human race. – Bill Wilson
  • The difference between guilt and shame is very clear–in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. – Lewis B. Smedes

Shame is a particularly acute risk for mental illness. – Nicola Gates

  • Live in thy shame, but die not shame with thee! – William Shakespeare
  • Shame is like everything else; live with it for long enough and it becomes part of the furniture. – Salman Rushdie
  • The way out of shame is to own it, and go on being your best, showing up rather than hiding because of it. Don’t let shame own you and keep you small. – Debra Campbell
  • Shame regulates differences, creates secrets, builds up a charge. The counterforce and antithesis of shame is desire, which with all its being seeks to eliminate differences, to do away with secrets, release tensions. – Karl Ove Knausgaard
  • Shame is the lie someone told you about yourself. – Anais Nin
  • Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn. – Benjamin Franklin
  • Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough. – Brene Brown

Shame is an ornament of the young; a disgrace of the old. – Aristotle

  • Shame is always easier to handle if you have someone to share it with.-Craig Thompson
  • Shame should be reserved for the things we choose to do, not the circumstances that life puts on us.– Ann Patchett
  • It is the false shame of fools to try to conceal wounds that have not healed.-Horace
  • You cannot really shame a man who sincerely does not care what others think of him.-Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.-Brene Brown

  • Shame is an attachment to negative self-perception that has been fostered by the perceptions and opinions of others. Shame is a wasted sensibility. – Devon St. Claire
  • Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. – Benjamin Franklin
  • Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you.– Rumi
  • Guilt is “I made a mistake, I did something wrong.” Shame is “I’m a mistake, something is wrong with me.” At the core of our wounding is the unbearable emotional pain resulting from having internalized the false message that we are not loved because we are personally defective and shameful.— Robert Burney

The problem with shame is that we have absorbed incorrect conclusions about ourselves, based on the past actions or reactions of a trusted loved one. These conclusions tend to be quite intense and persistent, with a nagging voice that they are the ultimate truth, and anything else we tell ourselves is just a lie to make ourselves feel better. – Jackson MacKenzie, Whole Again

  • Therapy is one of the safest of all places to bring your shame. But faced with lying by omission or confronting their shame, they may duck out altogether. Which, of course, solves nothing. – Lori Gottlieb,  Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

In Breaking the Social Media Prism, Duke Professor, Author, and Director of the Polarization Lab  Chris Bail challenges common myths about echo chambers, foreign misinformation campaigns, and radicalizing algorithms, revealing that the solution to political tribalism lies deep inside ourselves. Drawing on innovative online experiments and in-depth interviews with social media users from across the political spectrum, bail explains why stepping outside of our echo chambers can make us more polarized, not less.

In Whole Again, author and co-founder of PsychopathFree.com, Jackson MacKenzie describes strategies for healing and surviving a toxic relationship. book addresses and provides guidance on topics and conditions like complex PTSD, Cluster-B Disorder, Narcissistic abuse, Avoidant Personality Disorder, perfectionism, trauma, attachment disorders, Codependency, Core wounding, toxic shame, Borderline Personality Disorder, or the aftermath of an abusive relationship.

 
Whole Again offers hope and multiple strategies to anyone who has survived a toxic relationship, as well as anyone suffering the effects of a breakup involving lying, cheating and other forms of abuse–to release old wounds and safely let the love back inside where it belongs.

“If you can’t pay it back, pay it forward.” — Catherine Ryan Hyde

Pay It Forward is an expression for when the recipient of an act of kindness does something kind for someone else rather than simply accepting or repaying the original good deed. It is synonymous with the concept of Enlightened Self-Interest – behavior based on the awareness that what is in the public interest is eventually in the interest of all individuals and groups.

 Giving back is very important and the need to pay it forward cannot be over-emphasized. No one is self-made, we all get some help from the society and the onus is on us to give back to the society by becoming a mentor, leading by example, volunteering, sharing, and becoming the change we want in the world.

“You Can Have Everything In Life You Want, If You Will Just Help Enough Other People Get What They Want.” – Zig Ziglar

Pay It Forward Movie

Catherine Ryan Hyde’s novel Pay It Forward was published in 1999 and adapted into a movie of the same name in 2000. In the movie, Social studies teacher Eugene Simonet (Kevin Spacey) gives his class an assignment: look at the world around you and fix what you don’t like. One student comes up with an idea: #1 it is something that really helps people; #2 something they can’t do by themselves; and #3 do it for them, then do it for three other people.

“If you can’t pay it back, pay it forward.” – Catherine Ryan Hyde

In the movie, 7th grader Trevor implements the plan himself, forming a branch of good deeds. His first deed is to let a homeless man named Jerry live in his garage, and Jerry pays the favor forward by doing car repairs for Trevor’s mother Arlene. He further pays forward by preventing a woman from killing herself.

“Boundaries are not common sense; they’re taught.”

In Set Boundaries, Find Peace, Licensed counselor Therapist and New York Times Bestselling Author Nedra Tawwab presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology–and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.

 In his book Building a StoryBrand, American author and public speaker Donald Miller presents the StoryBrand 7 Part Framework inspired by principles of storytelling. The SB7 Framework is a seven-step formula designed to help businesses streamline their marketing strategy by clarifying their message. With the SB7 Framework, you have the power to eliminate confusion, connect with customers, and grow your business.

“Think of the StoryBrand Framework as a recipe for a loaf of bread. Failure is like salt: use too much and you’ll ruin the flavor; leave it out and the recipe will taste bland. Regardless, the point is this: your story needs stakes.”

The StoryBrand 7 Part Framework is based on the hero journey which can be seen in most stories(movies)

  1. Every story starts with a character who wants something.
  2. problem gets in the way of the character getting what they want.
  3. The character encounters a guide who can help them overcome their problem and get what they want.
  4. The guide gives the character a plan and…
  5. Calls them to action.
  6. By taking that action, the character avoids failure and
  7. Helps them achieve success

There are no grown-ups. Everyone is winging it; some just do it more confidently.

Part frank memoir, part hilarious investigation of daily life, In There Are No Grown-Ups, author and New York Times contributor Pamela Druckerman writes about midlife, the quest to figuring out the world, and finding out your path.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.-John Barrymore

Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past because the consequences of the decision were unfavorable. We regret our decisions, choices (choice of mate, education, career, parenting). Regret feels bad because it implies a fault in personal action: You should have done it differently, hence self-blame is a component of regret (Connolly & Zeelenberg, 2002).

In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, Australian palliative caregiver Brommie Ware, documented the top regrets of her dying patients, their insights on living, their dying epiphanies, and their top regrets.  According to Bronnie Ware, there are 5 top Regrets of the Dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Here are the top 30 quotes on regret:

“Always position your customer as the hero and your brand as the guide. Always. If you don’t, you will die.”

 In Building a StoryBrand, American author and public speaker Donald Miller presents the StoryBrand 7 Part Framework inspired by principles of storytelling.
In a world filled with constant, on-demand distractions, it has become near-impossible for business owners to effectively cut through the noise to reach their customers, Miller shares the proven system he has created to help you engage and truly influence customers.

Telling a compelling story can have a profound impact on a business, influencing audiences and captivating an audience. It turns customers into converts. It transforms employees into evangelists. Executives into leaders. It changes the nature and impact of marketing, and perhaps most importantly, it can change how we see ourselves.

In Stories That Stick, Kindra Hall, professional storyteller, author, and speaker, reveals the four unique stories you can use to differentiate, captivate, and elevate:  

  • the Value Story, to convince customers they need what you provide;
  • the Founder Story, to persuade investors and customers your organization is worth the investment;
  • the Purpose Story, to align and inspire your employees and internal customers; and
  • the Customer Story, to allow those who use your product or service to share their authentic experiences with others.

There’s no such thing as bad weatheronly bad clothes” – Scandinavian maxim

Life is going to happen to all of us at some point. Life is not a bed of roses; it is a roller coaster of challenges, changes, life-defining moments: sometimes you are up, and other times you are down. Whatever would go wrong would eventually go wrong (Murphy’s Law). It is easy to be optimistic and upbeat when things are going right; the real test is how you would handle the trying times. As British writer Vivian Greene once noted, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. – Martin Luther King

  In life, you are either coming out of a storm, heading into a storm, or going through a storm. The key to weathering the storm is to understand that the storm is a season of life. As the bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8: “To everything, there is a season, A time for every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, And a time to die”. A time to sow and a time to reap. There is a reason for every season.


The Third Door
takes readers on an unprecedented adventure–from hacking Warren Buffett’s shareholder’s meeting to chasing Larry King through a grocery store to celebrating in a nightclub with Lady Gaga–as Alex Banayan travels from icon to icon, decoding their success. After remarkable one-on-one interviews with Bill Gates, Maya Angelou, Steve Wozniak, Jane Goodall, Larry King, Jessica Alba, Pitbull, Tim Ferriss, Quincy Jones, and many more, Alex discovered the one key they have in common: they all took the Third Door.

Time batching is a time management technique that involves grouping similar tasks together and setting aside time to complete them all or work on them until a predetermined point of progress. Time batching is analogous to doing laundry: You do not wash your clothes, socks, et al. every time you wear them, you batch the laundry of the clothes for a particular period of time: Saturdays or Sundays. Batching reduces the setup time for achieving certain activities and you become more effective and efficient with your time.